As human beings we all see and know that are lives are meant to be shared, by family, friends, neighbors, strangers, and ofcourse lovers. But why is it so important, why is it that most people cannot function properly without a person to share themselves with?. From an objective purely logical point of view, if you were to imagine yourself as a non-human entity, it wouldn't make any sense. Say you see a person with a mother, father, sister, brother, aunts, uncles,and friends upon friends, love coming from all these different directions from all these different people who they appear to really value spending time with, and love; Why then, would they be unhappy with their emotional situation, depressed, lonely, angry, upset, or all of these combined, when they are literally having love and connection thrust upon them. Why do they feel like they have no one? It is actually not necessarily about true love, or even just typical romantic love, its much more complex than just that. Some would argue that the ultimate goal for humans in general in the realm of emotions and connection, it to achieve the ultimate and truest form of romantic love, even if they never bring that dream into reality. Although based on the average actions and behavior of most people, one would find this to be highly unlikely. Its not love, but rather, simply having a romantic partner even if there is never any real romance present, having someone to share your life with, physically and mentally, with atleast a few foundational complex emotions within the given relationship it works, even if someone never makes it past those three fundamental components to the ground layer of a relationship, typically it doesn't really bother most people. The four foundational layers of a 'romantic' relationship are:
attraction, trust,
communication, and
connection. Ofcourse there are many other values and attributes that can improve a relationship, like for instance, respect, happiness, resilience, confidence, etc.., but all you really need to have a perceivebly good relationship is the four foundational layers, or keys.
Attraction is the key to the locked door of a human body. Most unarranged relationships begin with attraction. It is typically what first makes people interested in someone else, and its something that just naturally occurs. We don't really decide to be attracted to someone, we just are or we aren't, and because its so out of are control, when two people are both attracted to each other, it feels like something special happened, for you to be attracted to them and the other way around, it makes us want to find out more about this other person, to know them, to talk, or maybe just look, whichever it is, it is centered on the other person. It's as if a mystical force pushes people together for seemingly no reason. If you really just think about it, its a bit strange, someone simply looks better than most to you, and you feel like you should be in each others presence. but it isnt strange, and it is a very important part of starting, and having a relationship. Most of the time this attraction starts off physical, but sometimes it can be mental, spiritual, or emotional, although which ever it starts with, it is the key to the human body, and most of us,want to share our bodies, but attraction without communication, or connection, or trust, doesn't go very far, though it is still an important foundational layer to a relationship.
Communication is the key to the locked door of a human mind. Without communication one cannot decode the way someone thinks, what they think about, why they think what they do, and how they think about you. Without knowledge of whats in someone's mind, their memories, stories, desires, and perception, swell some understanding of root and effect of their thoughts, ideas, and believes, the pair is not unified, they wouldn't really be a pair, but rather, two individuals who spend time together and call themselves a pair. It doesn't take long for humans who desire to be a pair to communicate, its natural. Two young men are talking under buildings and trees, a woman passes them, one says, 'she is beautiful' with eyes wide and a smile reaching across his face, the other looks back forth between them both, smiles and agrees, and then says, 'well what are you doing here, go talk to her'. This scenario is very common and is a known 'story' in human societies, communication is essential to not only a relationship, but also starting one. Humor, deep thoughts, interesting ideas, stories, questions, and answers, are all things that humans typically desire to share or feel as though it was meant to be shared. If you were watching a show and suddenly there was a really funny part, maybe you paused it and asked someone to come watch, or maybe you later told someone 'hey you should watch this show its really funny', or maybe you just felt like, ' Ah, its not as funny without someone else laughing at it too'. This is a strange example, but it provides a scenario that is somewhat common and also illuminates my point, The reason its not as good, or may even feel lonely or strange to laugh at a Tv show by yourself, is because humor was meant to be shared, its really hard for it to even exist without communication, sure you can laugh at your own joke you thought up in your head, but its just never ganna be all that funny to you, the Tv is something that made you laugh that you cant laugh with, which makes you feel like you should find someone to laugh with. In a relationship you will often find yourselves talking about 'Humor, deep thoughts, interesting ideas, stories, questions, and answers', like most interactions with people you know, but with a partner, each thing is magnified, their jokes are funnier, their interesting ideas are more interesting, their deep thoughts are more valuable, and so on, even if you are not in love, if you communicate alot of your partner, you typically, just enjoy them more.
Trust is the key to the locked door of a human heart. Without trust one can only move through the outer layer of a person's deepest emotions and feelings. This is not to be confused with love, one can love without trust, and trust without love, for they are completely different things that intersect, if someone loves you though, they are trusting you with their heart, regardless of whether or not they actually trust you. The saying 'follow your heart, but use your brain' gives some insight into how we as human beings function. Yes one can blindly follow love without using trust, but trust is a precious tool that allows us to use our minds to detect and prevent anything harmful from entering our hearts, and so even in the absence of actual love, if a pair both trusts each other, they will atleast subconscious believe something along the lines of '
safe love can happen, even if it doesn't', in other words,most people actually value safety and comfort more than love. If a woman is truly afraid of something, typically she would want to have a partner that can reassure her that even if everything is not ok, he will still be there for her, she can trust him, she can be more comfortable, and feel more safe, most people would rather have that then to just be afraid. And in reverse, if the man is afraid of something, but he has a woman ( whether this is natural or cultural is a bit unclear) most of the time he would feel stronger, and empowered so that he may protect his woman from any danger or simply protect her from fear, to provide safety, and reassurance, and often time lose sight of his own fear because of the overwhelming desire to prevent his partner from it. The man reaction is the perfect match to the female reaction, and not just in the scenario of fear or danger, but in almost every shared emotional experience scenario. But in this particular scenario, The bond of trust allows the pair to better battle fear, ofcourse though,with love, this would be magnified significantly.
Connection is the key to the locked door of the human soul. Without connection one cannot feel as though he or she is unified with their partner as one, pair, but rather two people who are often in the same place. Connection is arguably the largest part of a relationship, and essential to preserving one. As human beings we desire to connect with one and other, it feels natural, and it is. A connection is what links two people together, what makes a pair, a pair, its one of the most beautiful aspects of a relationship aswell. The evidence is obvious, what do people do when they feel connected? the connect, Looking into each others eyes, holding hands, kissing, making love, we were designed to connect to each other, we cant even reproduce without connecting to each other, on atleast a physical level, but real connection ofcourse goes down to the soul. When you dream about someone, when you can feel their energy in your energy, when hold someone, and you feel as though you two are one, hug. or one, kiss, one marriage, one relationship, and you yourself are half, of a pair, that is connection, that is the foundation, and even without love, its enough for most people to value what they have. This is, (although sometimes following trust) is usually the final foundational layer of a relationship, each layer is an essential piece to true companionship; attraction, communication, trust, and connection. This is all you really need, to have a great relationship, even without love.
